Hardened Bachelor Observations (HBO)

As I get older it seems like most of the stereotypes begin to fade - except gnomes, whatever love I may have had for them has faded to the point of joining a Tauren gnome punting team or maybe a Hunter skeet and gnome pigeon club, but I digress.

And although I will be forever grateful to my parents for not killing me in my annoying youth somewhere a tight link has been formed between children and pets. Part of it all comes down to training, but until a child (human) comes out of it's larval pet stage there is no difference, except in it's legal status.

Given equal training, both can fetch the paper or any other artifact you train them for. Both will leave multiple messes for you to clean up and will try to figure out ways around any expectations you may have for them. In either case arguments may arise as to which will be more vocal or violent once again depending on training and what is taught and what they think they can get away with.

The scary thing is that world pays more attention to and offers more failed advice in how to train a child, and has more success in training a dog - - hmm maybe if we tried some of those techniques. . . better not libel to be sued or reported to child services. I have however seen some interesting leashes for children, which make more sense to me than those confused souls who feel the need to dress their pets in human clothes but that is just me.

Although I do have to admit generally speaking those with children are allowed to be more creative with their punishments. Some would say this is due to 'enhanced' communication or the lack their of but it's still interesting to watch. In the end though basic simple one or two word commands seem to be the most effective (ex. come, stay, eat, go). At times I think this is all they hear - much like when you talk to Santa's Little Helper on Simpsons. "bla bla bla bla insert name here bla bla bla go bla bla bla." It doesn't matter where you are going until it is too late then brace yourself for attempted negotations and possible complaints.

If lucky they grow out of it - but working in technology trying to provide support has given a lovely sardonic tint to my reality. Needless to say I don't see any pets in my future, but will simply enjoy the pets around me and feel comfortable in the knowledge if I play my cards right I won't have to clean up after them :P