From a Land of Books and Other Diversions

"Classification of fantasy and reality is itself a fantasy that humans created, my dear motorrad. Life... It begins when you first make distinction between yourself and others. From that moment on, the world becomes a stage for the story in which you are the main character. All people live in a fantasy in which they are the main character."

"I see."

"But the world doesn't recognize you as the main character at all. What nonsense! Everyone lives their entire life tormented by this confusion! There is only one way out of this hell."

"To place yourself in a position that is neither the main character nor a supporting role. In other words..."

"Yes. The Author."

--Kino no Tabi, Land of Books

Some things can be summed up in cute cut and dried segments. The brief moments in time lend themselves to Twits, Tweets, FaceBook, and G+ among many others. Yet they lack any form of depth and do not lend themselves easily to longer posts.

Life has been full of many random distractions - many times thoughts are formed and lost like mist before the heat of the sun. Which has been driven home in the idea I'm now confident in my lack of ability to distill some thoughts in to a coherent form long enough to share them before the need forces me to move onto the next perceived process.

Maybe it's time then to dust off DI and set aside time for a mental swim instead of just splashing through the puddles between destinations...

Mixture of Ethereal Humours

Scattered are the thoughts that reveal occasional gems only to be covered again in the torrent of distraction brought by daily living. Just looking for a title that seems to fit can take one down so many different paths. For as Bilbo said long ago, "You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." There are some days that being 'swept off' doesn't really sound all that bad... although I do wonder at times how many things we take for granted every day that were discovered through sheer happenstance.


I'm taking advantage of the Indian summer here walking to/for lunch when possible. Not only does this provide a respite from the daily phone grind, but allows for the creation of vitamin D, a breath of fresh air and a chance to just think. You could almost call it a meditation of sorts, but rarely does it become deep enough to qualify - more a stream of consciousness as one empties the mind of one set of distractions allowing another set to slip in.

Recently the unfinished business of living comes to mind. Watching the world spiral and turn claiming completion of things that each succeeding generation will have to come to grips with. Some questions repeat others come at us reworded appearing new, but are they? If I'm not careful I get lost in the past and forget the future while other times I deny the past in hopes of finding a future...

The longer I'm in this status of quo the more i find that without a reason things don't change, there's no reason (which just adds to the irony). Add at the moment that I just feel like a place holder, waiting for a change that may never come. I feel the world locking in around me... question is can i find a reason to break out.

Maybe I need a vacation a chance to stumble on a positive happenstance or two and see a 'real blue sky' or two...anyway I digress, something that seems to happen more and more often it seems.

OR Art

It felt good to get out of town on Saturday... still torn on the effort needed to travel back and forth from Portland in a single day. The biggest issue is sleep, or the lack there of. Much like traveling coach on an airplane after 16hrs of flight you begin to crave your bed.

Upon arriving in Portland this time I went in search of the fabled Voodoo Doughnut. Which I failed miserably in doing. It wasn't until after I'd hooked up with J and Emily that we found it. the sign was easy to miss, and by the time we did find it there was a surprisingly long line, with no time left to stand in it. :P

Emily had a chance for completing either an assignment or extra credit for one of her classes, honestly I'm not sure which it was. However it was rather enjoyable getting the chance to go through the current show at the college/university. The displays were interesting, but for many of the pieces it was hard to connect to.

I guess to sum up the day, the food was good the company great and I need to plan more time to make sure I get to the train on time -- nearly missed it (both coming and going).

Reality 101

The world is not beautiful: And that, in a way, lends it a sort of beauty.

~ ~Kino~ ~

Survivor, I think. . .

Some times I really wish I could remember my dreams - - if any thing it would explain some of those nights/mornings were I wake up more tired than when I went to sleep. Never to really know why the blankets, pillows and sheets separated and dispersed to different corners of the mattress.

Occasionally I am granted fleeting snapshots during the "between times" where the realms of the sleeping bleed into the realms of the waking. The images so vibrant that you could swear you were there, the sounds so strong and clear. . . many times I so dearly want to go back to return and finish that which was started, but that is a rare gift in deed.

If I can make a waking link then the it seems that the tenuous grasp becomes a little easier to hold on to, if only for a little longer.

Recently though with all the chaos I remember waking and for a while I had the strongest impression I'd just survived a massive boulder avalanche.

The imagery was one of the classics used by so many storytellers - where the rubble has buried someone alive, only their hand exposed, struggling to escape their rocky encasement, then suddenly falling limp as the entombed either passes out or passes on.

I can't explain it - I just feel like some how I survived it. . . whatever 'it' is. All I can explain is the impressions I have and the boulder slide was an aftermath from something bigger, I can almost lay odds on that part, if nothing else. . .

Which is better than I can say for my computer - - shortly after the dream the hard drive went belly up right at the end of a long, frustrating day no less :P More on that later if I remember.

Real Blue Sky

I'm not sure why this scene comes to mind, but considering the current chaos in my life it seems to provide a little hope to cling to in the middle of this storm.

Anyway here is the setting, as Kino is leaving a country the gate attendant asks a question and the following brief conversation occurs:

Say Kino, have you ever seen the "real blue sky"?

Eh?

Before my grandfather died, he said, "It doesn't matter if you find real blue sky or not." I asked him, "What are you talking about?" But he died smiling.

And that's the "real blue sky"?

Yeah, ever since, I've been wondering vaguely on and off what the "real blue sky" is.

What would you answer to that?

Let me think. . . I would answer, "There is no such thing."

Why?

How blue the sky is often changes depending on the place, time, season, and weather. And every one of them was beautiful. I can't tell you which one is the real blue sky among the skies I've seen. there is no such thing, that's what I think.

I'm not sure if that is a right answer or not, but I'm glad that I asked you - - -

'nuff said

Hito no Tabi

I want to be one. . . one of these days I'm going to stop thinking about all the reasons I can't and just do it - - for saftey's sake though I think my "Hermes" will be more along the lines of an auto vs. a motorrad.


Life is getting ready to make a major shift. One would argue that the fates have been playing at the loom again, and once I'm able to get a grip on the fray'd ends I'll fill in the details.

'til then enjoy Cooper's Retail Blog - - yeah I know it's based on a comic strip, just be warned those who have worked retail before might find this a little too close to reality.

I've been out of retail for years, but does one ever escape customer service?

Buy-in of Hyper-Individuality v.1

Sorry if this sounds kind of random and scattered - I've been trying to think my way through this now for about a week. (Well at least the buy-in part, the hyper individualism is something else I heard recently but it seems to fit.)

I was talking with my boss at work about things we'd like to see change at work, and though the theory was sound out current place in the food chain makes it difficult to make changes without serious support or buy-in from the managers above us - which seems to be becoming more and more difficult as the project list around us continues to shift and change.

With all this chaos it got me to thinking about what things in this life I might "buy-in" to, and there really isn't all that much. I have to admit it's been a while since I really thought about where I put my time and efforts other than the basic needs of survival - and in someway it was both enlightening and frightening. (scary how those things go together most days:)

For the most part I'm finding that I just want the world to leave me alone, and this is where I'm beginning to see the hyper-individualism. Some would say that individualism it the anti-community where the individual takes precedent over all other needs of the greater good - but that is a red herring (i have yet to find a society that was able to last without the individual will of the people without use of excessive force - but even that only had a limited effect).

Anyway I digress.

The real question that seems to be lingering in my mind is how does one create buy-in and how important is it to really buy-in to anything?

I mean for most of my life I've felt like the guy on the side-line. And after watching for so long I can understand why the French had so many revolutions, and the Russians, and let's go ahead and throw in the united states too - it was a way to create/force societal buy-in, and create the needed force to ensure it. Yeah it's possible but it is a red herring too.

That's the part I really need to think on, with the overload of items provided to choose from in the buy-in catalogue of life - what should be chosen, dismissed, and embraced?

Current short list: Family - or those deem'd at family lvl, then it all get's blurry, smudged in the mozac reality that runs on caffinated determination :)

With reality in constant flux in the end it is the individual that will form groups that will focus/change reality. (see power propaganda, my current favorite is the global warming bit after they tried to get everyone to buy into the upcoming ice age.)

Never fails - I now have more questions than I started with :P

Kino's Pachelbel

I'm not sure why this song seems to linger in my mind - - I may never fully understand it and to tell you the truth there are much worse songs to have crammed in my cranium.

For some reason though I went to the tune tonight and felt the need to copy down the English lyrics - - hopefully I'll be able to track down the Japanese version, but so far I've had no luck - - may just pull what I can from the show it's self but I can only how badly I screw that up.

Anyway here's what I was able to get so far from episode 4: Land of Adults

Opening:

Far off memories of birds flying through the air
My desires fly on wings of my dreams
All thoughts from the heart of a spring day
I send to the other side of that rainbow

I can see the world's reflection in your smile

Later when Kino sings while working on Hermes and later as the episode ends:

Your eyes are a mirror in which
I can see the world's reflection
Without ever forgetting your kindness
Even if my heart is full of sad words
I will stare long and hard at the stars

Pachelbel has always been haunting, I guess the lyrics (especially when heard in the original Nihongo). This song also added a strong anchor for the series for me - a reality cross over so to speak :)

This is also the episode that the following quote comes from:

Though I did not know the place,
I set out for the land of my dreams.
Having arrived at the land of my dreams,
I found I did not know the place.

And that quote alone could easily become a posting of its own - - but that is a different story.

Traveler's Benefits

There is something to be said for traveling - the ability to come and go, living worry free from many of the local issues that may be happening in an area. (Keep in mind that this is true only during peace-time for the most part, quickest way to get that 'spy' look about you is to be the unknown in an area at war)

But mostly, the ability to enter, explore a culture, and leave to continue the exploration is really quite nice. In some ways now that I am home I shall miss it.

On the other hand there is also benefits for being home (like a familiar spot to land at night, a greater support network of friends and family, and knowing the land-marks of a country a little better).

The other realization during this adventure is the re-affirming of a simple truth - - Normal is what you make it.

Nothing really is normal, but for some reason most living essences have this innate ability to normalize a situation or an environment - - no matter how hellish it might be normal is a term still used. Even those traveling do this subconsciously as they move from one country to the next working through obstacles that may be placed in their path, and making plans on how to deal with them.

Youth seems to be extremely sensitive to this - the quickest to notice and one of the first to adapt. Some would call it a survival mechanism, Darwin would call it a survivial test to find the most fit for an environment. And although he may be partially right I'm also reminded of Frankl, that it all comes down to a "WHY", that we need a reason to survive that like Nietzsche it the ability to survive goest to, "He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how. "

It would be very easy to go into that whole Nietzschenquotee thing of "That which does not kill me makes me stronger", but that only works if one has time to heal and learn from the ordeal. Without that one is weakened and easy prey for the next predator that walks through the door. Not the happiest of thoughts but hey getting "Ganked" a few times will really drive this point home - Trust Me.

The Wandering

There is one major difference between all those quests, travel movies and this trip.

Time requirements. . . the expectations in most of the quests and travel movies I've seen are usually done with a final goal but rarely a definite time factor (just be there before ***) it's usually fairly general and will be resolved within the space of 2 hours or a 100 hundred pages give or take.

This trip is a little bit more definite on goals - - a vacation is one thing to find the trainer and receive the needed training in a certain time can be tricky when you don't have all the information.

(This is when you will start to hear stereotypes groaning in fear)

As this search had me asking many -- "Do you know where *** is?"

It was a little scary - but very successful :) It's amazing what reading signs and asking a few folks the right questions will accomplish.

Drive UpDown UpDown Drive

I think my stomach is still in the process of digesting the information that it is no longer in motion, and it brings back so many memories of roller coasters and one repressed memory involving a spinning that I wish I could forget - -

Either way, the next few days should be really interesting.

Doku ni iku?

Though I did not know the place,
I set out for the land of my dreams.
Having arrived at the land of my dreams,
I found I did not know the place

Kino


____________
Oh on a side note, if anyone finds the japanese/english, lyrics/mp3 to Pachelbel's Canon in D used in eposide 4 "Land of Adults" please send me a link or flare or something. It's rather haunting and I'd love to add it here.

Nigolos

Greener Grass

This one has been playing around in the back of my mind for the past week or so. A conformation of that all the cliques I have heard since I was a kid are not true.

So next time Virginia asks if the Grass is Greener on the other side you can 9 times out of 10 say 'No'.

This has been repeatedly shown not only in the new server I've been playing on (PVP Alliance this time), and have felt the cold blade shock of the Horde this time, compared to my previous experience with PVP where I was playing Horde characters.

One thing is for sure, with realities like this its no wonder that many peace processes seem to fail in real life, and short of the population issues that may occur that whole res thing would be quite nice though.

However I saw a really good Anime series called Kino no Tabi that says how are you supposed to know the color of the grass without going to take a look. Definitely worth the watch, but not really for the kids, not sure how little Jimmy would handle seeing a rabbit take a bullet to the head and then bleed out a bit, however the story-lines are engaging for the older viewer and raise some interesting questions along the way.