From a Land of Books and Other Diversions

"Classification of fantasy and reality is itself a fantasy that humans created, my dear motorrad. Life... It begins when you first make distinction between yourself and others. From that moment on, the world becomes a stage for the story in which you are the main character. All people live in a fantasy in which they are the main character."

"I see."

"But the world doesn't recognize you as the main character at all. What nonsense! Everyone lives their entire life tormented by this confusion! There is only one way out of this hell."

"To place yourself in a position that is neither the main character nor a supporting role. In other words..."

"Yes. The Author."

--Kino no Tabi, Land of Books

Some things can be summed up in cute cut and dried segments. The brief moments in time lend themselves to Twits, Tweets, FaceBook, and G+ among many others. Yet they lack any form of depth and do not lend themselves easily to longer posts.

Life has been full of many random distractions - many times thoughts are formed and lost like mist before the heat of the sun. Which has been driven home in the idea I'm now confident in my lack of ability to distill some thoughts in to a coherent form long enough to share them before the need forces me to move onto the next perceived process.

Maybe it's time then to dust off DI and set aside time for a mental swim instead of just splashing through the puddles between destinations...

rambling update

DI has turned into more of a link archive for me -- a place i come on my way to other places. in a way i feel only slightly guilty for not maintaining more of a presence, with the ease and interactivity Facebook provides i've noticed a swing as to how/when i've been posting.

i know Facebook will auto take a blog post, wonder if a blog will grab a Facebook post.... something to explore in the future.

until then here's a quick update on current addictions some of which i plan to set up links to on the side for anyone else interested to visit their sites. some will be previous links that i want to make a bit more permanent - while others i've been visiting for awhile and have yet to mention.

my old WoW addiction has returned with the expansion with a much stronger focus on learning the lore through the quest chains.  i've completed a horde loremaster, and have started another for alliance -- sadly when it comes to quests and lore right now i'd give horde a large jump on two things - story line/quests (there's an actual sense of fighting for survival with storyline inclusion at times that i've yet to feel in any of the alliance quests... but there is still much to explore and do before a final decision can be made)

i never thought it possible but television programming may actually be getting worse. i can think of only a few shows i bother even thinking about keeping track of, the rest of the time the tele is on as background noise and a timer.

i'm in denial about selling the house any more... it's been on the market for awhile now, and between my questioning of what real estate agents do after they get your listing along with how every time the economy starts the government seems to try and put on the breaks i wonder just how long it will take to sell this place without giving it away.

on the plus side i've had the chance to explore some music groups i'd never heard of and start a few more anime series. i can honestly say i've become a even more cynical with the media industry where you get one gem in a large pool of dross (much like the news industry when they pick a lucky horse to beat to death...)

anyway out for now... look for link changes along the side in the future and if i can figure out a way to do it possible Facebook pulls later.

Stasis Comfort

I think it's the bleach /cough... with every breath I take it still smells like I'm at some indoor swimming pool. Not that I hate the pool, more rather I just don't like cleaning the shower/tub in the bathroom. The most success seems to come from using a bottle of cleaner then letting it soak *note to self: next house should if possible have a vent window in the bathrooms, those little vent fans don't really do much*

May have found a buyer for the house... still in a wait and see state of mind. It sounds good, but I've learned not to get my hopes up nothing bruises the ego like failing your, Star Trek Federation Luck Roll. However if this is successful I'll be able to find someplace that doesn't quite echo like this one does.

Job performance reviews are done for this year /cheers. It seems like every other year for the past while there is a shake up in supervisory positions at work which can make it hard to gain traction at times in accomplishing much in the trenches. I have some higher hopes this time though with this round - now we continue on and see what happens next.


With WoW coming out soon with a new expansion (12/07) I've been feeling a bit of a tug to reactivate my account... I'm guessing this is what it feels like to other addicts after a long hiatus from their drug of choice, to suddenly have a desire to go back and get another fix. I wonder if Blizzard realizes this release is on Pearl Harbor Day? You know that one day that will "live in infamy"-FDR.

To say I'm not seriously considering reactivating my account would be a lie. To wander a old/new world, exploring new places, seek out corners undiscovered does have some appeal, even if they are virtual... not like I'm using this life for anything else at the moment *and yes, even as I type these words out I realize how sad that sounds.*

I'm also waiting to see what will happen with DIII. Since the release of their latest class/character trailer the idea of waiting for a single player game vs. entry into an MMO subscription setup may help in making a decision.






Of course there is always the possibility of life taking another turn, until it does though I will make stasis a comfortable as possible :P A parting shot though paraphrased from a candy wrapper with quotes printed on it: "Pessimism is just Optimism with life experience."

Well I'm off for now, enjoy the vid, while ponder those final words -  

"you have a choice to be hunted or hunter."

Mixture of Ethereal Humours

Scattered are the thoughts that reveal occasional gems only to be covered again in the torrent of distraction brought by daily living. Just looking for a title that seems to fit can take one down so many different paths. For as Bilbo said long ago, "You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to." There are some days that being 'swept off' doesn't really sound all that bad... although I do wonder at times how many things we take for granted every day that were discovered through sheer happenstance.


I'm taking advantage of the Indian summer here walking to/for lunch when possible. Not only does this provide a respite from the daily phone grind, but allows for the creation of vitamin D, a breath of fresh air and a chance to just think. You could almost call it a meditation of sorts, but rarely does it become deep enough to qualify - more a stream of consciousness as one empties the mind of one set of distractions allowing another set to slip in.

Recently the unfinished business of living comes to mind. Watching the world spiral and turn claiming completion of things that each succeeding generation will have to come to grips with. Some questions repeat others come at us reworded appearing new, but are they? If I'm not careful I get lost in the past and forget the future while other times I deny the past in hopes of finding a future...

The longer I'm in this status of quo the more i find that without a reason things don't change, there's no reason (which just adds to the irony). Add at the moment that I just feel like a place holder, waiting for a change that may never come. I feel the world locking in around me... question is can i find a reason to break out.

Maybe I need a vacation a chance to stumble on a positive happenstance or two and see a 'real blue sky' or two...anyway I digress, something that seems to happen more and more often it seems.

Scattered Thoughts and Updates

I seem to do more posts like this anymore than any other. Sometimes I wonder if this blog is worth keeping any more - it's not as though there is a regular update schedule or even a general thread other than the general questioning of this reality and my semi lucid ideas of sanity and the requirements to blend into the crowd.

One day the deeper thought of the moment was not so much how many changes we experience as we hover between political, social and religious factions we encounter throughout our lives. Is it possible to maintain one's integrity or would the sophists argue that integrity is just one more illusion in a life that is nothing but a twisted form of jungle living (each preying on the other) and brutish survival at worst?


I've added a few more links to the side. The first is in the Hito no Tabi section (as I'm not really sure where it best fits into the sorting on the side) - I stumbled upon The Nourishing Gourmet when trying to find a good soy sauce, which if you have a palette for such can be a real trick. The site seems quite interesting and who knows maybe I'll start cooking a bit more again. Cooking for one is rather pointless for me most of the time - all the effort that goes into the prep, might as well just get a 50lb bag of Bachelor Chow and watch some Futurama.

The other links are in the comic section. So far I've enjoyed the story telling through them all - but have yet to figure out their publishing schedule. A Softer World - many would call this comic just wrong, but there is a dry wit in it's ironic cynicism that one reads at their own risk.  Dresden Codak - one of the only comics I've come across that uses so much philosophy in it's creation of a world that contains segments such as Dragons & Discourse. The final comic added to the section is Rice Boy. So many stories lay in waiting here, the art is good and the storytelling is of a quality I can see Evan Dahm's tales becoming an animated feature or two.

UPDATE:
So I guess updating stuff comes in spurts in its' own convoluted way - - reorganization always seems to happen that way. Some bits either have to hit critical mass before change can occur or just adding a couple of things cause a shift in growth that was unexpected.

Added a couple of link groups along the side  with additional links added to the mix. I mean what 's the point of a topic with only one link? - - anyway don't read to much into it as I'll most likely be going through a link consolidation later - without a destination many times the minutia of the day to day is all we have left :P

The Flutter of Butterfly Wings

Can you hear them? They are flapping somewhere... those wings. Glorious golden, red, blue, green wings each at their own pace and rhythm.

Where will i be when the storm hits? Will i even care when it does?

It makes me wonder what type of storm it will be at times. . . then again i just hope that i won't be stuck cleaning it up.

Generally many of the facets that make up this life are fine, yet there are other bits which if not careful makes for one hell of a mind trap... but then there are other little tricks to escape those at times.

Sleep provides some escape, but there are times i'm curious to know just what am i dreaming about. Could my subconscious be trying to protect the conscious from those things lost in that space between wakings?

Then again maybe i just need a vacation. . . as many times it's just to damn easy to over think things. Just have to remember that Occam's razor is sharp and i may find it has done me when everything is said and done. :P

Not There Yet

Came to a realization today. Somewhere deep in the back of my subconscious is a little bit of me in TOTAL denial, thinking that i'll never die. Logically the larger part of my conscious mind calls bull-shit and keeps me from doing something it thinks will be amazingly stupid. (although sometimes i do wonder what those stupid things would be.)

http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=3640

Not sure why, but this seems to give me a bit of hope today, with the start of a new school year and all just thought i'd share... may you find inspiration in places you never expected.

A Little Grist for the Mill

I recently got back to watching some more Dexter. It's been over a year since I've had a chance to continue my journey from season II to season III. There's just something about watching Dexter that seems to put me in a reflective mood. Combine that with my long lasting slight depression and it can make for some really deep introspection at times. Maybe that's part of it's charm?

Along with all the other chaos or lack thereof inside, depending on your point of view, I've started to try and identify my tet. There are a few general outlines, however I'm not sure if there is anything that might akin to those higher levels tet that ka creates.

Another splash in the psyche was the rounds the simple idea of "Choosing or Being Chosen" seemed to make inside. Part of the idea exhibits control, either in the taking or possible granting to others. Denial is ever present in this model as either side may terminate the exchange, thus reducing the experience to a battle of wills or a nullification of sorts.

That however is a divergent path from the brain twister though. Do we choose our path or is it chosen for us? In many ways it feels much like a forcing of the wheel that pushes us all. Nature abhors a vacuum and it doesn't take much to be sucked in and turned to grist between the stones of time.

Yeah it sounds a bit absurd, even corny, but that is just the state of mind I'm in at the moment... don't worry the colors of khaos are bound to shift again when you least expect it.

Mobile Storage (pt. II)

After a long search I finally decided on a couple of bags from the Mission Workshop. I went with The Shed and The Vandal. Between the two of them I think I'll be covered for any sort of escape I may attempt, that and I have no desire to purchase any more bags for a VERY long time.

In the end it was much harder to find let alone choose which bag would fit. Honestly any cheap bag would have done, but I was looking for something more than a disposable bit of nylon. After looking at so many bags I also found it difficult to find places that created something that was better than average durablity and had something more unique than a brand patch.

One for the Motto

I've been thinking over the past few days that my new life motto might need a change. Maybe something along the lines of:

Flexibility through perpetual distraction.

Currently this just seems to fit - as focus is rare, and multi-tasking has started to feel like the punch line to a bad joke. Either way it's something to think about in a world that has so many different items all fighting for daily attention in the grande melee of life.

Searching for 40-50L of Mobile Storage

There are few things I seem to be able to focus on at the moment. The rest of the world just sits in the queue, a foggy fuzzy place that you forget about unless you really focus on it.

At the moment though when I take the opportunity to focus a bit the search continues for a really good travel backpack. With the bug to travel growing more and more the desire to get a good bag that will work for extended weekend trips seems to be gnawing a bit inside. So the web has been ransacked for a pack that hits all the high notes I'm looking for.

I've seen so many backpacks and travel bags that mentally many have begun to blur. Each has it's own successes and failures. At one point I found one bag on a site in the UK that had the brand name of "Outdoor Gear" - yes it says what it does, but have you ever tried to track down a manufacturer with such a general name. Points for simplicity of name, but an utter fail on name brand recognition.

So I'm still looking - found a lot of good stuff, just nothing I'm ready to buy. However, stasis is feeling a bit cramped and waiting for something to happen is beginning to chafe a little. . .

As for the rest of life... if my head wasn't attached I'd probably forget it somewhere else. Special thanks to the sender of a reminder text about leaving my garage open after I left for work. I forgot more than just closing the garage door this morning. Luckily I work at a place that will let me buy the occasional indulgence with a dozen donuts :)

Details, the Overlooked Killer

Details will kill me . . . that was originally what spurned the desire to get another post in the works (and that was at least two weeks ago).

The dangers of procrastination? Some triggers can't be pulled after the moment has passed, as I was reminded when coming back from vacation a few weeks back.

It seems that the week I was gone happened to be the same week that signing up for insurance at work closed. Up til this point signing up was available, don't get me wrong this was my mental path of I should really go to one of the insurance meetings to figure out which one I should sign up for.

And yet I never made it to a single meeting. There was always something else going on, another computer to fix, upgrade, deliver, stage, repair, etc. And there were still many meeting times yet to available. The daily chaos swallowed that information whole and it was never heard from again, and with it when the idea of signing up.

Thankfully the nice folks in the HR office took pity on me - one of the like seven or eight folks that for some reason either had other sources for insurance or joined me in my attempt at death my procrastination.

I always feel like I'm running near information overload, much like a RAM chip when there's current you just hold on tight, and when the switch is set to the 'off' position all information stored therein is gone until the next surge of triage charges through the system.

-Big Bad Bunny Eater-
http://www.imaginismstudios.com/

Sadly in the end it's only the trivia that remains. . . the brain blocks out the rest in hopes of saving little bits of random sanity, which ironically creates it's own unique form of insanity.

Running In Place

I should post more often, and many topics briefly come to mind only to fade in the chaos of the day (much like the shadow forms in the Twilight Zone episode, I Sing the Body Electric). Thoughts of these reoccurring are hard to quantify though and never appear the same as they did on reflection - could be another sign that I'm loosing my mind or just grasping for something subconsciously before the waters of denial lull it back to a state of near oblivion.

As for the current state of this reality...

Still trying to sell the homestead. Glad I don't have any major force pushing for me to sell quick as this market generally sucks, but this place is just way more than I need. I always figured life would be so much different at this point - only to be reminded of the olde adage from Grant:

"Man purposes and God disposes..."

I find that I'm not even posting on FaceBook much any more (not really sure if I did post much on FaceBook to begin with). Which of course raises that question of what to do with all that 'free time'... Sadly I've become quite adept at killing it slowly with a chainsaw at times.

Hulu has provided me a very nice anime link among even basic Tele programing. (as I'm not ready to pay such high fees for the enjoyment of having the Home Shopping Network on Dish or Cable). Sometime I'll need to put a list of the different shows I've stumbled across in the past few months - maybe I'll even resurrect the movie rating system I had awhile back :P

I'm finding that in order to keep from going completely feral and anti-human though I do my best to go out and deal with humanity in a PUBLIC setting outside of work. This is usually done by going and getting lunch somewhere away from work. This has provided an excellent opportunity to explore the area and try new and different foods at restaurants/vendors. (I'm still trying to figure out what's in the 'Greek Pepper' mix I got from the local Greek restaurant I like.

Anyway time to run...

Oh, along the side though I have updated the links - changing the comic line up, and adjusting the "Hito no Tabi" blog roll to match the hunt. --Enjoy

A Moonlike Life?

Comparatively speaking I've really cut back on my quiz taking and posting activities on Facebook. Every now and then though I bump into an interesting one and just have to take a look. Below is the result from a quiz, "What is Your Inner Self?"

You hide your emotion sometimes .You are a moon type of person. You tend to be the quiet type or in contrast, you are not happy but sometimes you act it out in order for you to not burden your friends with your problems. You've faced some problems in your life. Your heart has been dealt blows before . You tend to think about things a lot more than other people, and you may get annoyed with people who act out without thinking about consequences. You are also the type of person that others often come to with their problems because you've been through plenty, and you are very understanding. Though you sometimes feel lonely, your demeanor is usually chill, and relaxed. You usually are logical, and rely a lot on facts and information on decisions. You often keep things to yourself. This is just one side of you, and you have different faces in different situations and environments, just like the moon has phases. Thanks for taking this quiz, I hope you enjoyed it.

still thinking this one over, but from what I've read so far it been interesting.

New Year, New Post

Actually this is more of a test post than anything else. I've been toying with the idea of buying a netbook now for a few months, and I finally gave into the temptation with all of the holiday sales going on.

After some research it looks like the current hardware is very similar - same processor, RAM, even hard drive size. So I started looking for other features that might help make a decision. Keyboard and battery size are two biggies.

So after bouncing around and searching sites I finally came up with a Samsung GO, which was lucky enough to find on sale.

First thing I did with it when it came in was to install Win7 32bit OS. It seems to function fine but I still want to upgrade the RAM and see how much it helps. Main spots of lag seem to be involving start up. Battery life seems good though, as the gage still reads over 4hrs at the moment, and that is after running some major updates from Windows and typing up this post.

Hardest part so far is getting used to the difference in using a touch pad so close to the keyboard, due to the jumping cursor. The keyboard itself is great, spacing is is nice - and unlike other netbooks I'm not hitting multiple keys at every turn.

Wireless seems solid too -- as this is the first time I've really tried using it at home, so far I'm pleasantly surprised. Later I'll need to give streaming music and video a good test. If both of those pan out *smiles* til then...

From the Stars...

Thought it was interesting that this would be my horoscope today... seems the way i feel most days.

Withdrawal

This influence greatly stimulates your awareness, often in ways that are difficult to understand rationally. You are more sensitive to other people, and you seem to know how they feel intuitively. At the same time, you are more concerned with their benefit and less with your own. However, the ego-denying quality that enables you to identify with and help others may also manifest itself as a feeling of psychological weariness and inability to cope with the world. You may want to flee the everyday universe and go off into some private world of your own. A relatively harmless manifestation of this is daydreaming, but it can also surface as a full-scale effort to evade reality. If you need to withdraw from with the real world, you would get the most benefit from going off by yourself to meditate or contemplate.

Have had mixed success as I've come into work today to fill my role as family tech. Luckily I'm just working on a laptop and a tower :P

OR Art

It felt good to get out of town on Saturday... still torn on the effort needed to travel back and forth from Portland in a single day. The biggest issue is sleep, or the lack there of. Much like traveling coach on an airplane after 16hrs of flight you begin to crave your bed.

Upon arriving in Portland this time I went in search of the fabled Voodoo Doughnut. Which I failed miserably in doing. It wasn't until after I'd hooked up with J and Emily that we found it. the sign was easy to miss, and by the time we did find it there was a surprisingly long line, with no time left to stand in it. :P

Emily had a chance for completing either an assignment or extra credit for one of her classes, honestly I'm not sure which it was. However it was rather enjoyable getting the chance to go through the current show at the college/university. The displays were interesting, but for many of the pieces it was hard to connect to.

I guess to sum up the day, the food was good the company great and I need to plan more time to make sure I get to the train on time -- nearly missed it (both coming and going).

Tweaks & Updates

It's a good thing the world doesn't verify my existence by how often blog posts are made here, as I have a sneaking suspicion my death certificate would have arrived and my access cut off :P

Anyway, a few tweaks have been made to the side for 'Hito no Tabi', and 'Anime', there are a couple places I've grown to like changing 'Streaming Audio' to 'Streaming Bits' due to a large shift in my viewing habits going from television to streaming it online. Most likely I'll need to look into increasing my bandwidth as the rest of the world discovers this lovely way to watch what you want when you want it with minimal cost.

It feels weird... not having played WoW this long. I think it's the first time in around 4+ years I've not gone trick or treating at the inns around Azeroth. For now I've been out of the MMORPG online for the past few months, however I'm still checking the sites I found helpful on a regular basis - - not sure what this bodes for the future, but the links are down toward the bottom now. Now that I think about it this in someways this might be like the recovering alcoholic checking the bar sites to keep tab on things while in rehab...

First Stop in the Pearl

I escaped on Saturday. Hopped a train on this side of the Rockies for the first time and went to Portland. This was more of a scouting mission, not only to explore a new area I've never been to, but to see if physically I could handle 16 hours on the rails in one day for a round trip.

Below are some of the pics I took on the trip - - these are all from the Chinese Garden, which was my first spot after leaving the train station.

Portland, OR

I'm so glad I was able to get some advice from J and Holly before leaving - - next time I think I may want to stay longer - - traveling for 16 hours on the rails and walking around the pearl district was a bit long/rough for one day... but so worth it.

Dr. Horrible

Okay this has been one of my most recent addictions... much more than i thought it would be.

For those who haven't seen Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, pls enjoy, and for those of the addicted - well, will see if you can pass the video to the next part of this post without watching....Muhahaha.



It has been years since I've had a desire to put together a costume for all hallows eve, but i may give the doc a shot - - if i can find the howie lab coat for a reasonable price. right now i think i can put the costume together for between 200-250 us dollars, and with the lab coat being the bulk of the purchase (150-200 us) I'm just not sure how many places i will be wearing the lab coat later - not like a good lab coat is daily wear at work for me :P